Noah is home!

 Noah was brought home yesterday around 1pm.  

I can’t believe we spent 9 days in the NICU!  But God is so good because thankfully we had the right insurance that covered such a costly stay! (Not to mention a super costly surgery!!)  

Noah has met most of the family and they are all so in love with him it warms my heart so much! I am so in love with him.  At first (and for a long time prior to his arrival) I was pretty unsure about what would happen and how I would handle everything, but I held on to God knowing He knew everything to the tee.  And He sure did! I think a hard aspect of having a baby with Down syndrome is having to face everyone else’s thoughts and opinions.  Some people seemed to genuinely care about us and Noah while others feigned care with more curiosity.  To be sure I’m guessing a few people were even happy that I am going through this while they aren’t and they’re able to witness someone close to them having this kind of experience (because we are all evil inside), but I just have to remember that this life—my life—is between me and God.  

I can’t stop gushing over him…sigh.  I’m so smitten. 

I think the biggest challenge for me right now is pumping milk every 2-3 hours and trying to take care of my other two kids as much as I can (making their breakfast, brushing their teeth, playing with them, and doing their laundry).  I feel like the days go by in seconds!  I haven’t slept more than 1-2 hours straight for 2 weeks, and I can feel when my body demands rest.  

However, I cannot complain because I have the most awesome team of people helping me including my mom, my church community, friends and our family.  Even my kids are so helpful at times haha.  I doubt anyone has this kind of help in all the world.  It’s the kind of help that money can’t buy: loving help.  

Life is so unpredictable.  I never would have imagined that I would have a child with Down syndrome…it really is scary news when you get it the first time around because there is so much stigma tied to the term.  But the more I live in it the more I realize that all of life is about perspective.  We can look at anything from any angle we want and that will determine whether we feel good or not good.  

I have been clinging to see everything from what God tells me.  He’s like the person in my earpiece who is directing me like in James Bond or mission impossible.  My eyes in the sky.  And I trust Him.  I see only a portion but He shows me the whole story but in steps. 

Honestly, I feel at peace and like Peter walking on water I know as soon as I take my eyes off Christ I’ll start thinking all kinds of things and fall.  So, every moment I just need to keep my eyes on Jesus.