Incredibly blessed

 As I hold Noah, day 11 of life, and still in the NICU, I am struck with the fact that I am so incredibly blessed.  My life is t perfect or ideal to most, but there is this real joy and real peace that makes it so satisfying.  I may not have the big house, healthy children, or a romantic marriage, but we are all living with the sole purpose of abiding in Christ and when we lose sight of that goal we fight to get back on it!  We know that outside of Christ there is nothing for us.  Our joy is found in Him, He is our great delight.  As I hold Noah my heart is filled with this immense joy and honor that God has been with me and continues to be with me…that He calls me friend and has gifted me with this precious child.  I don’t know what lays ahead for us but I do know for certain that there is joy, peace, and so much confidence that everything is going to be woven into the beautiful plan of God.  The good, the seemingly bad and the weird will all be pieces of His beautiful purpose. 

I find that to be the incredible blessing! 

My son is so beautiful!  Just looking at his precious little face with his mouth open as he sleeps on my chest I am overcome with gratitude towards God.  I wasn’t sure how everything would turn out while I was pregnant and I prayed all the time that Noah wouldn’t have Down Syndrome because I was afraid, but now that he’s here I find that he is perfect.  Down syndrome or not—he is the perfect child for me.  He is a reminder of God’s hand in my life.  

What a trip!  I have 3 kids now…I’m part of THAT club haha.  I am sure it’s going to get crazy, I’ll still have days where I regret yelling at my kids too much or not enough, but I am not alone and my life is not in my hands (thank God!) my life is in God’s good hands and He is in every detail.  I need only to seek His face, ask for His wisdom, and obey whatever He convicts me of…and the rest is me falling into an ocean of His grace. 

Lord knows I need His grace.  I know it’s my responsibility to obey and walk with the Lord, and I own up to every mistake and I know full well I deserve whatever “bad” thing results from my lack of closeness with the Lord…but what sweet relief to know His grace somehow works in all of that to lead me to Him—back again and again.  I ask God to always bring me back no matter the cost.  I can lose many things, but I cannot lose Him.  

I also feel incredibly blessed because this whole situation has shown me just what amazing support I have from friends and my church community.  Love is pouring in from all sides and I’m just so thankful…how mindful the Lord is of me!  I’m humbled by the care people have shown to me.  It fuels me to want to do more for others as well…I feel so small and yet so held together by so many people who are praying for us, buying us good, gifting us, and constantly sending words of encouragement and care.  Like I said: incredibly blessed.  

Incredibly blessed. 

I never want to forget this. 

“You are Mine.”

“Now this is what the Lord says — the One who created you, Jacob, and the One who formed you, Israel — “Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by your name; you are Mine.”

‭‭Isaiah‬ ‭43:1‬ ‭HCSB‬‬