Gospel 101

 “If we say, “We have fellowship with Him,” 

yet we walk in darkness, 

we are lying and are not practicing the truth. 

But if we walk in the light as He Himself is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus His Son cleanses us from all sin.”

‭‭1 John‬ ‭1‬:‭6‬-‭7‬ ‭

“For nothing is concealed that won’t be revealed, and nothing hidden that won’t be made known and come to light.”

‭‭Luke‬ ‭8‬:‭17‬ ‭

““Therefore, don’t be afraid of them, since there is nothing covered that won’t be uncovered and nothing hidden that won’t be made known.”

‭‭Matthew‬ ‭10‬:‭26‬ ‭

Being fully known simply means you understand that you need Jesus because the reality is: I am a dirty dirty sinner.  Just ask God to expose you and you will see just how far you fall from His standard.  What makes us feel “not so bad” is our own standard, but when we live under God’s standard we will see how wretched we truly are.  We are broken to the max.  We only intend to do evil all the time (Gen. 6:5) because we mostly live for our own agendas rather than God’s.  

Yet we have hope because it says that when we live in the light then Jesus will cleanse us from our sin.  In other words, it’s not that we will no longer have evil intent, but now we will be aware of it, and therefore can repent of it and be met by God’s grace to be forgiven of it!  And that is how we ought to live each day—in the light of this truth that God is constantly giving us this forgiving grace for our constant state of sin!  And His grace TRANSFORMS us to be more and more like Christ so that not only does God cleanse us but He moves us to live differently.  

We must come into the light daily.  

We must recognize our desperate need for God daily.  

Just ask God to show you His standard and let it crush you because it should.  We never had a chance until Jesus came and saved every one of us by dying on that cross and giving us the free gift of His imputed righteous (He transferred His perfection onto us by taking on our evilness). The exchange is ridiculous and can only be explained by God’s immense love for us.  

When you live in the light of His standard you will find that His grace is sufficient for you because you fail every time, but Christ covers you completely.  You owe everything to His work on the cross for you.  And Jesus intercedes for you daily so that each day you can live exposed only to receive His grace again and again.  

Your intentions are evil but when we live in the light it means we expose ourselves to be corrected by God. 

When we come into the light of God it means we are giving God liberty to do with us whatever He will.  

And God chooses to forgive us and this ought to lead us to CHANGE so that we love sin less and less and fall more and more in love with our Savior.  

Living in the light is both frightening and freeing because we must face the reality of our wretchedness while at the same time experiencing the power of His love for us.  

I pray you fall more in love with Jesus as you step into His exposing light. 

Basic stuff that I need everyday

 At times all I know is that I need God’s wisdom because my mind has a lot of ideas and opinions that cannot be trusted.  

I’ve learned that waiting for God to “fix my problems” is the best way to go about fixing my problems.  Although it may take longer than I want, there is essentially nothing else I can do.  If God takes 2 hours to tell me what to do then for 2 hours I can do nothing but wait.  

If my children need to take a certain medicine 3 times a day for 3 days in order to get well, then that is what I need to do regardless of my preferences.  My preferences don’t matter because the cure is as given.  

Waiting on God is difficult because it can leave me in a state of uncertainty which can feel uncomfortable.  However denying that God is good is much more harmful to myself.  When I see my situation through God’s eyes I become desperate for His wisdom.  No matter how scary or painful reality is, trying to make it something else is way worse because when I make my truth something that fits my preferences I become more self-reliant.  But when I see the truth as it is I am drawn deeper into dependence on God, and that is how we must all live every single day. 

Apart from Him we are doing empty things that have no real substance or lasting power—all for the sake of easing the pain of our uncertainties.  

As I watch my children grow, as I observe the reality of how difficult marriage is, the reality of what it takes to lead a small group or do life in community—I am a desperate woman.  

Noah having Down syndrome is a huge blessing because that reality is so obvious.  

I need God to keep my baby alive.  

But as I pray the truth gets revealed again and again that I need God for so much more! And as I see how God’s grace has been covering me in all my blind spots I am so thankful again to have this life where God has me and will not leave me to my own devices.  He knows me and He helps me when I call on His name—which should be everyday! 

Change today.

““But what do you think? 

A man had two sons. 

He went to the first and said, ‘My son, go, work in the vineyard today.’ 

“He answered, ‘I don’t want to! 

’ Yet later he changed his mind and went.

Then the man went to the other and said the same thing. 

“ ‘I will, sir,’ he answered. But he didn’t go. 

“Which of the two did his father’s will? ” 

“The first,” they said. 

Jesus said to them, “I assure you: Tax collectors and prostitutes are entering the kingdom of God before you! 

For John came to you in the way of righteousness, and you didn’t believe him. 

Tax collectors and prostitutes did believe him, but you, when you saw it, didn’t even change your minds then and believe him.”

‭‭Matthew‬ ‭21‬:‭28‬-‭32‬ ‭

Notice that both brothers have something in common: they both don’t want to listen.  

They both have their mind set to do what they want to do.  

In their heart of hearts they are both sinfully selfish.  

So, what is Jesus teaching here?

At first you might think it’s the response that sets them apart, but we all know God doesn’t care about lip service.  

God sees the heart. 

Jesus says the main difference is the one who changed his mind vs those who don’t change their minds. 

He mentions prostitutes and money hoarders as those who are the ones doing God’s will over the Bible teachers (Pharisees)!  In other words He couldn’t care less about what position you have in life.  What He wants is the heart.  

A heart to CHANGE. 

In other words, BOTH brothers needed to CHANGE their thinking in order to obey, but only one did so. 

This morning let us remember that our minds need to be CHANGED if you want to follow the voice of God today. 

Everyone has a way of thinking that is sinfully self-centered and therefore the only way to enjoy walking closely with God today is to ask Him to help you change the way you think.  

Renew your mindset every moment (Romans 12:1-2). 

Obedience begins with a change in our minds. 

Love you guys. 

I pray you draw closer to God today. 

Humility will crush toxic thoughts

 When thoughts assail me…

The biggest battles are in the mind.  A fight to choose to stop what I’m thinking and to ask God “what do You think?” And then to trust that His thoughts are way smarter than mine so it would do me well to just drop my thoughts.  Of course not all my thoughts—that’d be impossible or lazy.

But you know what thoughts need to be cut out.  

The ones that are toxic: complaints, comparisons, and criticism. 

Just kick them out!  

And I ask God to redirect my mind.  

But they always come back to assail me!  

They come back again and again and I have to go to God again and again.  

A lot of the times my battles are when I feel my mind beginning to harbor a complaint.  I see something (ie: my husband not doing something I expected him to do) and then suddenly I can think of 10 other things he doesn’t do that bother me.  

Or when I begin to compare my life with someone else then envy or entitlement set in and I’ve lost my joy. 

Or when I begin to be critical of something or someone, then I cannot see them as a person.  

These are the kinds of thoughts that need to be kicked out as soon as they assail me. 

And they put up quite a fight.

It’s exhausting.  

I would much rather entertain them so that I wouldn’t have to work so hard to change my mind, but if I did that then I wouldn’t be doing what God wants.  

I would be choosing to go against what God has shown me in His word to be true.  

God has given us the way to live but we must choose His way even if it is tedious and tiresome.  

So, what are the kinds of thoughts that I am supposed to have? 

“Rejoice in the Lord always. 

I will say it again: Rejoice! 

Finally brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable — if there is any moral excellence and if there is any praise — dwell on these things.”

‭‭Philippians‬ ‭4‬:‭4‬, ‭8‬ ‭

Having the kind of mind described in the passages above is not easy.  I can really only have that mind when I am close with God, filled with God’s love for me and just humbly reminded of how He has carried me in my darkest moments and forgave me.  

Humility is the only way to have the mind of Christ and ultimately it is the only way to have the ability to boot out the three contaminating “C’s”: complaints, comparisons, and criticism.  

And humility happens when I step into the presence of God.  

I need to be close to God so that His truth would humble me and help me fight those thoughts that assail me every moment of every day.  

Humility.  Humility.  Humility. 

When the thoughts assail me, my battle is to draw closer to God and be humbled. I tend to make myself to be much better than i really am.  

But I am sinful, saved by grace and called to be an ambassador for Christ by spreading grace to others.  

My heart must remember to be about His will and not my own.  

Gos knows.  He sees my heart. 

Intimacy with God

 “You will keep the mind that is dependent on You in perfect peace, for it is trusting in You.”

‭‭Isaiah‬ ‭26‬:‭3‬ ‭

There’s a song called “different” by Micah Tyler that I have shared many times before, and it continues to bless me.  It’s about going through difficult things—and instead of having God change the things around me it’s about asking God to CHANGE ME to handle the things that He is walking me through.  

It is and always will be about my change. 

Sometimes I take a step back, like an out of body experience, and I just think “what the heck is going on?  How did this happen?  What’s going on?  Am I going to be okay?”  And of course the truth is that God is aware of me and I am in His perfect plan for my life.  So, yes…I’m going to be just fine.  In my life I have learned to trust God no matter what, because what other alternative do I have? 

One of my favorite passages in the Bible is when Jesus starts talking about the gospel of His body being the bread of life and many of the disciples are leaving Him because the message is hard to swallow.  Hard to believe.  So Jesus turns to the twelve and asks them: “do you want to leave Me too?” And Peter aptly responds: “where would we go?  You have the words of life.” In other words, there’a nothing left for them.  Jesus is it.  

“From this time many of his disciples turned back and no longer followed him. “You do not want to leave too, do you?” Jesus asked the Twelve. Simon Peter answered him, “Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life. We have come to believe and to know that you are the Holy One of God.””

‭‭John‬ ‭6‬:‭66‬-‭69‬ ‭

They have found the answer to all things.  

They have found God.  

There is no other alternative for them. 

There’s no bargaining or need for proof anymore.  They have come to know God and there is nothing but devotion left for them.  There is nothing more worthy to live for apart from their Lord Jesus because everything else has been proven to be an empty pursuit…vanity.  They are done chasing nonsense and they now have only One option.  

This has been my experience as well.  When there are things in life that I don’t understand, from marital issues to a pregnancy diagnosis of Down Syndrome, I have nothing left but to run to my Savior because He alone holds the words of eternal life.  I need only seek His advice when my mind feels unstable.  I am done relying on my own mind for answers that are beyond my ability to manage.  What could I truly manage?  I have so little control.  For me, the answer has become so simple…only Jesus can tell me what is true.  

It may not be a popular truth, but it is the truth! 

And now it matters only that I know the one from whom this truth comes from.  

I have come to answer the deep question upon which everything else hangs: Is He a good God or is He not?  

That’s what it really comes down to.  

Is God truly good?  

If He is then His truth, no matter how unpalatable it may be, turns into sweet honey to the person who believes that the source is Good.  

And I have come to know who God is, and He is so good! 

I think about His mercy!  His graciousness to me!  His unceasing love despite my unfaithfulness! His faithfulness to me!  This almighty God has chosen me as His beloved child and I know only a gentle and merciful Savior.  That’s who I have experienced!  

He has been so, so good to me. 

Would His faithfulness to me suddenly stop? 

Of course not! 

I am prone to forget, get lazy and drop the ball on valuing intimacy with Him, but He is not like me!  He pursues me daily and when I acknowledge Him even for a split second I’m met with extravagant, overwhelming love.  

He continues to change me to become someone who trusts Him in anything.  

That is intimacy.  

And that is what drawing close to God is all about.  To trust Him in everything.  

Jmegrey

A hellish night in the ER

 “pay attention to your private conversation, that is, the words you say to yourself that no one else hears. 

We are always talking to ourselves about ourselves, life, God, others, meaning and purpose, relationships, trouble, solutions, hope, the past, the future, etc. 

Because of this constant internal conversation, we influence ourselves more than anyone else does, because we hear what we have to say more than we hear anyone else.”

-Paul Tripp 

What are you hearing yourself think today and let’s ask God to renew our minds.  It’s crucial how we think is in line with God’s truth so that our perspective is not simply what we know and see or feel, but WHO we know and see and feel. 

Especially when you feel like you’re in hell. 

Update:

Noah is doing okay. 

To be honest, the day we went into the ER (10/31/22 at 9pm) was the most excruciating experience of my entire life.  

I watched Noah scream until all his blood vessels in his face popped as he tried to breathe but couldn’t and he would periodically scrunch his face in pain and turn purple and grey.  

The nurse assigned to us at the ER was rough and just not handling him well because she wasn’t used to treating small babies.  

As I held him for 3-4 hours straight my arms went numb and I felt so helpless because we were told he needed to be hospitalized but there were no available beds…anywhere in Southern California. In fact, the doctor was trying to find a bed further out because he was planning to fly us out if they had an open bed.  

We waited and waited for hours as Noah screamed and suffered …and he hadn’t been able to eat for 9 hours.  

His lungs did not sound good.  

I was preparing myself to hold him with as much love as I could if he ended up having his last breath crying in my arms.  I was a wreck.  

I was physically alone because Ben had Covid and couldn’t come inside and the staff left me because they didn’t know what else to do.  They didn’t have the right equipment to handle such a small 35 day year old. 

It was the worst nightmare come to life, but I knew God was there even if I couldn’t feel Him.  I said a short but very sincere prayer under my breath: “Lord, May Noah’s name be written in the book of life so that he has an eternal home with You and if this is our last day together on earth it won’t be our last in heaven.  In Jesus name I pray, amen.” 

What I was speaking to myself was the truth…that this life is not the end.  And the best gift I can give to my children is for them to know God and put their hope in life with Him more than this life.  

Then my mom was able to come and I nearly passed out after she took Noah from my arms.  And about an hour or so later we got a call to be transferred to the ER in anaheim where at they at least had staff and equipment to care for small babies  Noah would be near pediatric nurses (since they have a pediatric ward there).  

I rode the ambulance with Noah for 30 minutes and when we got to the ER in anaheim they told us they would try and get Noah a bed in the pediatric ward even though it was full and there were a lot of other kids waiting…but God’s grace!  God’s grace! And I write this with tears because what felt like hell for 3 hours straight suddenly became heaven and I knew God was aware of me.  It was a traumatic night that no parent would ever want to witness.  

We got a room and now we are here and Noah is being treated gently and the staff is amazing.  

His face was covered in red dots from all the broken capillaries that came from him crying for so long, his eyes were red and swollen and he looked extremely weak as if he just got into a bossing match, but he is getting the care and rest now that he needed.  

I forgot to mention that we almost didn’t even take Noah into the ER.  That was God’s grace too!  If we had come a few minutes later..Noah might not have made it. 

I had called to make an appointment for him because he kept having weird episodes where he would look lethargic and all of a sudden the would turn pale and then gasp for air.  My mom, husband and I all saw it happen but we figured he would be okay if he rested.  But something made me to do what I normally don’t do and that is to go into the ER in the dead of night.  

As soon as we got there Noah was at his worst.  His breathing became more and more strained and his episodes of choking were frequent.  They had us wait outside for what felt like forever and when the finally put us in a room they had us wait again for another hour or two until I screamed for help and a nurse rushed in saying what was the matter and she looked at Noah and yelled for a doctor.  

Even though it was the most terrifying ordeal of my life when I look back I do acknowledge that God was in it too.  He never left me alone even though I felt alone until my mom and husband were able to be with me, but for those 3-4 hours with Noah by myself as he screamed and gasped for air I never felt more alone and scared.  

I was tired and hadn’t slept since we got there at 9pm and it had suddenly become 5am the next day.  At 5:30am they took us by ambulance to the ER that had a pediatric ward in the building, and soon enough a bed opened up for us.  It was a miracle and the best relief of my life.  

The whole ordeal was very traumatic, and I almost don’t even remember what happened, but I can firmly say that God was with me and at the end of all that suffering I found myself at peace in His control over my life.  

That is and always will be the dominating narrative in my head and heart.  

And when it’s not I will command my body and mind to make it so.  

Jmegrey