Save the girl

day one: ambition

day two: indecision

day three: reconsideration

sigh.

is it worth it? is it truly worth it? no telling till I dive.

self adherence

whispers waft around the inner chambers of the heart,

taunting one or guiding one for lack of discipline to start

hearing words that bark like commands,

then softly cooing the infringing demands

To lay still, unevenly breathing

taking in accounts of the prior evening,

looking back and looking forward,

To catch a glimpse of the cage one conjured.

Here. Now. Inhaling and exhaling.

forgetting air, and what moves thee

Feeling the tension build up profusely

then choking one with self inadequacy

Silence all around the room,

numbing the tension all too soon

drifting off into an imaginary place

One forgets that he is on a race

be here. be the tree planted firmly,

growing tall with roots stretching deeply

take out substance and competition

running towards a self ambition.

I decompose

drag me to obedie-

pull me back to discip-

push my will to mov-

this feels like more than I can handle

My wants and needs ferociously flow freely,

I need the storm to come and tame me

Halfway stuck and often weary,

blind and shattered I can't see clearly

turning my stomach inside out

All that's in me begins to generate doubt

Inciting moment come and take me

rescue me with what is necessary.

Chisel my structure,

compose my minutes,

take everything out,

and restart before I diminish.

Fading and wandering

this weakness overtakes me,

but I'll fight till I'm over

because this is how it must be.

Soon when my bones rest underground,

the will to have courage will incessantly resound

all of my fears and all of the pain,

will have been for a cause, for an eternal gain.

Essence of sky

Crystal droplets submerged in the sky,

penetrating one's eyes with an evanescent subtle light,

beauty so common yet commonly so denied,

Time seems to stand for such a grand sight!

As this simple canvas illuminates life,

Beyond emotion much deeper than sorrow,

outlined in wonder, words do not follow

Past forgotten, hope in tomorrow.

Beautiful, beautiful! Take it all in!

If only days like this had no end.

Consider the ant, and follow it's way,

toiling hard for a breath in such a day!

Naked in full view

With your palms face down,

on your knees greed unabating,

selfish desires thrown around,

flesh and bone surely decaying

The threads that cover your body,

the words that smooth your speech,

positions of high rank in society,

yet fulfillment remains out of reach

blind to self you bloody the day,

your existence full of lethargic pity,

slowly baking intelligence to clay

resident of an ostentatious city,

"afraid" or "indifferent" they say.

We stand here on arid ground,

rooted deep in Nature's floor,

civil layers are none to be found,

the outcome of what we bore.

Here the earth is like an arena,

people naked before the crowd,

you stand before the gods

secret thoughts now read aloud.

This is in waking, this is in doing,

this is in taking, and in pursuing.

(unfinished)

My ocean

I'm like the shore rising up,

crashing down at a moments whim

beating the ground with tiny particles

carrying sand back to sand

the Sun beating down on my skin

Rolling around in momentous motions

lying still at intervals

carrying ships to destinations

allowing life within me to grow

the sea creatures playing in my womb

are my desires exploring the vast

Storms and wind create a stir

tossing me around until no more

but life within me remains

the animals peak in thundering

knowing well what lies beneath

yet some afraid to go above shore

all the same they remain

after an angry storm

meaning in reflection,

watching the ripples replicate

I search the water's surface,

but I know the waters are deep.

What is your priority in life?

Why do you do what you do?

What is causing you to move in a direction?

I identify myself with another,

thinking this will make me whole,

blending in with all the colors,

turning my story into a blur.

What are you putting your trust in?

Where is your support coming from?

Why are you doing what you are doing?

I can see now that my soul speaks,

A thousand voices rushing in,

but I pick them apart until one by one

they dissipate, leaving none

All that's left is what has begun.