listen

The words that flew out of my mouth never made much sense to the world,

Speaking became a puddle, and I never could say what I wanted to,

The thoughts would form sentences, but they never made it past my mind,

I felt trapped between what was real and what was wrong,

The frustration almost made me give up hope,

speaking needed freedom, I felt so far from what I loved; conversation.

I told you what I could with a nervous heart,

filling voids with unnecessary comments,

but you knew what I was really thinking,

you somehow heard the voices in my head,

You responded to something I never spoke out loud,

and it felt so right, it feels so right.

...but the conversations still make me nervous,

and I always feel like it's so temporary,

or that one day the channel will switch and I'll be speaking empty words again,

so I'll make it harder for you to reach me,

I'll set up more walls and stand far, far away,

I'll make you cry, make you want to give up and scream at me,

because if you stay I'll know you really heard me,

if you leave I'll know you only pretended to know me.