We found out today that Noah has a hearing impairment in his left ear and will need to be suited for a hearing aid.
I knew this could happen and I thought I had prepared myself for it, but the news in real time still left me a little discombobulated. For a moment I just froze and felt sad…I felt as if something was being taken from me, maybe the idea of being a normal family with healthy children? I don’t know…but whatever it was it did leave me with a level of uncertainty for the future.
But I knew, as the feeling lingered, that I had to give it to God. I had to give the situation, the circumstance, the impairment and the consequences that came with it to God.
I was reading 1 Samuel this morning and it was about the wickedness of Eli’s two sons—Hophni and Phinehas—and how they disregarded the Lord by doing whatever they wanted with God’s sanctuary and their dad never stopped them.
“I told him that I am going to judge his family forever because of the iniquity he knows about: his sons are defiling the sanctuary, and he has not stopped them.”
1 Samuel 3:13
They end up all dying, including the dad. It made me think how two healthy sons born into a family that knows God and raised in the church are wicked and end up living worthless lives and dying a worthless death.
I can’t guarantee that Noah will NOT live the same life of selfishness, but I can say with confidence that having a healthy life and growing up comfortable may not always be what leads to a good life for you or your children.
What makes a life valuable is when a person lives for God’s purpose.
Now, here’s the small print about living for God’s purpose that I think most people miss: it’s about the desires of your heart and the choices that come about as a result.
Do you desire to do what God wants more than anything else?
His directions are plain and simple: die to yourself and do as He did.
Live as He did.
Renew your mind daily.
Present your requests to Him as needed.
Rejoice always.
Be thankful.
Serve others.
Don’t worry.
Work hard.
Don’t seek Justice for yourself, but leave it to God.
Obey even if it kids you.
Take ownership of your relationship with God and follow Him the best that you can.
This is the life I can still show my kids.
The real question is: am I doing that?
There is nothing hidden that will not be exposed.
So live a life exposed to God.
“For nothing is concealed that won’t be revealed, and nothing hidden that won’t be made known and come to light.
Therefore take care how you listen.
For whoever has, more will be given to him; and whoever does not have, even what he thinks he has will be taken away from him.””
Luke 8:17-18
God offers us the gift of life that keeps on giving, but it is unsuited for those who don’t follow Him. Is it hard to follow God? Absolutely! Sometimes it’s downright painful, but it is WORTH it.
That is what it means to fear God.
He knows every choice you make today and whether or not it was made in submission to His will or your own selfish desires.
I pray for strength to chase after what feels difficult if that is where God is taking me. (And lots of mercy when it takes me too long to get there!)
I expect….
And then I get so disappointed.
So hurt.
And then angry.
And then I have to remember that I had expected something outside of Your will.
I need only fix my eyes on You.
Help me to do that.
Help me to fall more in love with you.
Help me have a desire to do what You want because I just love You.
