Habitual + Consequential whole person
“Good planning and hard work lead to prosperity,
but hasty shortcuts lead to poverty.”
Proverbs 21:5
“The plans of the diligent lead surely to abundance,
but everyone who is hasty comes only to poverty.”
Proverbs 21:5
“Careful planning puts you ahead in the long run;
hurry and scurry puts you further behind.”
Proverbs 21:5
“The plans of the diligent certainly lead to profit,
but anyone who is reckless certainly becomes poor.”
Proverbs 21:5
Good planning
Hard work
Diligent planning
Careful planning
Vs.
Hasty
Shortcuts
Hurry
Reckless
What do all these verses point to essentially?
One leads to the abundant-full life, while the other leads to the limited-scarce life.
It's more than about your bank account, it's about the overall quality of your life. To have good food, good relationships, good skin, good body, good job, good income, good habits, and good character all takes good planning, hard work, diligence, and carefulness.
I am reminded YET AGAIN, that nothing in life is easy, and those words seem to get heavier and heavier the more I try to be hard-working.
For so long I've created habits of haste, instant gratification, and finding shortcuts or being reckless with my life--because I simply didn't care enough to try. I had money, I had popularity and lots of friends, I had a loving family and I was even confident that I was pretty. I got above average grades without even studying, took trips around the world and boys liked me. You would think that I was living the so-called "good life," but one look at my habits of haste would tell you I didn't care about any of it enough to really care about myself. Money couldn't buy me happiness, my friends were more like cardboard facades rather than deep and meaningful relationships, my family only saw a fraction of the real me because I chose to hide the truth from them, and vanity drove me to a 7 year eating disorder. I didn't use my degree for anything, and I don't remember much from any of my many trips to Europe, Asia or anywhere else for that matter. None of the boys I liked lasted very long because I was not a whole person.
I didn't have a worthy purpose in life until I met God for real in 2014. Up until then I was reckless about simply doing or feeling whatever felt good or right to me at any given moment. I only focused on a small part of my life, the part that was easy, didn't require much patience, endurance, or deep contemplation. But gradually the other part of me-- the stifled part I had suppressed and neglected for so long would begin leaking from the seams of my so-called "good life." The part of me I might call the consequential part of me.
The part of me that was full of pain, anguish, depression, hurt, and disappointment from all the shortcuts, reckless behaviors, hasty actions, and lack of careful planning.
I hit a low point in my life while I was in my bed one night. No tears came, only numbness and inner depravity. It was a mental hell. I knew if this continued my consequential self would end up destroying me altogether, leaving my parents hurt in the process. I couldn't just hurt myself, as much as I wanted that to be the case, it simply wasn't-- and knowing that compelled me to seek help.
It's been a crazy emotional, painful, heart-wrenching 5 year journey since then.
(2012) Year one was the awakening process, 365 days of more and more awareness of the consequential me.
(2013) Year 2 was the hunt for what I really believed to be true about God since at that point He was my only hope of help. 365 days of asking myself and God the hard questions like "are You made at me?" "Am I one of Yours or one of Satan's children?" "Are You even real?" "Are You even there?" "Are You really good?" "Do You really love me?"
(2014) Year 3 was when the gospel was driven into the darkest part of my heart. 365 days of sitting with God in the swamps of my sin and getting to know Him there. This was probably the most painful and most best year for me. It was a time of so much weeping and so much cutting off of my old ways, yet also the most intimate moments I had with God.
(2015) Year 4 was a time of falling more in love with God. Some might call it unceasing prayer, but it was simply me talking to God all the time. This was my second year at Talbot School of Theology at Biola University. I was soaking in His Word, spending hours with Him, all the while still holding His hand through the many more swamps of my sin. However, it got better because I knew His love was for sure. I waded through painful reality with a little more freedom and a lot of courage.
(2016) Year 5 was all about taking action. I had soaked up so much knowledge of God in the previous year that now it was getting put to the test. I began dating my now husband on August 16, 2016, but up to that point I had been practicing walking in what God showed me was love with family members, friends, and of course myself. Things got really real, though, when I started dating because I had no intention of getting married, but remained open to whatever God lead me into. When I met Ben (my now husband) I was a completely different person than I was just a year ago. I was going through so many character changes that I had no idea what I was in for. The honesty, the clarity in communicating, and bringing up all the petty differences mattered, and mattered deeply to my soul. All the while my old self was more determined than ever to make a comeback since this was an area of deep rooted bad habits. I pressed into God so much in this year. I listened to my mom for so much guidance! Most of the time I was unaware of how to be in a Christ-centered relationship, so I just took action to find out what that was (mess ups lead me to right ups.). I was also leading the youth group and continually finding myself at a loss for ability to do so. I simply "showed up" and hoped for God to use my presence in ministry since I lacked everything else. And He did, apparently.
(2017). This year I got married on August 16, 2017. I couldn't really tell you much about what this year has been because I'm still in it, but looking back it felt like a year of walking by faith. There were many times of spiritual confusion, mental boredom, and physical restlessness. What my eyes saw my spirit had to speak into because I couldn't rely on my circumstances or my feelings to guide me. Youth group felt like it was dying, my friends seemed to grow distant, and sharing my heart with another man took getting used to for me because I had previously only bared my whole heart to God. I was in new challenging situations. And I got pregnant in September! I was blessed, but I wanted more than the blessings...I wanted Year 3 intimacy feelings with God. But God had different plans for me, He had Year 6 intimacy plans for us. So here I am, reading proverbs 21:6 on Dec 5, 2017.
“Good planning and hard work lead to prosperity,
but hasty shortcuts lead to poverty.”
Proverbs 21:5
This time those words breathe life into my bones. It's times when things get difficult that we must plan for what we know is good: intimacy with the Father is more than just getting everything He has (blessings), it's getting Him. The relationship that sustains us and fills us with a fullness that makes us whole and wholly good.
In the past it would have been easy for me to make haste and find the quickest way to distract myself from difficulty or pain, to lock up consequential me in the basement of my heart, but not today.
Nothing in life is easy, shortcuts start easy but end in difficulty, while carful planning starts with difficulty but ends in abundance.
If "Structure breeds freedom" then "Haste breeds slavery"
My story is a testimony of losing myself and gaining Christ. He took the road that led Him to the cross, where He now sits in eternal glory with the Father.
I follow Jesus,
Jmegrey
